Ryan and Karl go to a PBA playoff game.Gay men take off their clothes.Hilarity does not ensue.

Yesterday I went to a Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) playoff game. It was a lot of fun, although by the end I was exhausted from sheer jet lag. PBA seems a lot faster and more dynamic than the NBA, although I have yet to see any recent NBA games live. There are fewer power moves in the PBA than the NBA, but that means more team ball, which I prefer.

The teams are named after their corporate sponsors, not cities or mascots; last night I saw San Miguel play Air 21 and Ginebra play Alaska Aces. That’s like Budweiser playing Nike.

In addition to each team's corporate sponsorship, the arena puts on a lot of ads and allows corporate mascots. The mascots are unfortunately and comically unimaginative. A painkiller company's mascot was a bottle of painkillers. The popular Extreme Sing Sing "magic mic" karaoke machine was represented by--you guessed it--a guy with a microphone for a head.

All the games are held in Manila, so there’s no home court advantage. A team can still gain the advantage of the crowd, however; Ginebra is a very popular team, and the entire stadium was chanting GI-NE-BRA, which sucked for Alaska.

There is also a fair share of diehard fans. One fat guy was screaming at Air 21 to win; I could hear him from across the arena. He would then start dancing with his big belly, which made the crowd go wild. But the most hardcore fans are the bakla, rows of gay and transvestite men sitting behind the basket cheering wildly and effeminately for their favorite players and teams.

While the fat guy was making an ass of himself, a cute girl wearing a yellow shirt sitting next to the him proceeded to jump out of her seat and start dancing and taking off her shirt and throwing her hair wildly and screaming at Air 21 to win as well. I remarked to Karl, "pare, she's cute; we should meet her after the game." He responded, "dude--that's not a girl." We walked by her after the game and indeed, she was a he, and my nutsack shriveled up. But can you blame me? It looked like he had nice boobs from across the arena.